I care too much about what you think
See that first photo on my feed right down there? Indee and I smiling about our silly hair. It’s cute, right?!
Well, I stressed for ten minutes before I posted it.
Straight up stressed OUT.
Do you want to know why? Because I know too much about social media.
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Here are the things I know (and care) too much about:
– I know that every photo I post looses more than 5 followers (althought most of the time I gain 10)
– I know that it won’t get as many likes as the other photos on my feed
– I know that it will mess with the color scheme of my page (and I’m trying REALLY hard to stay consistent with)
Keep reading, there’s a point (other than my admission to vanity).
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Now that I’ve given you a little Ashlee-styled lesson on social media. Here’s my point…
None of that matters. It’s JUST a photo and a photo that will be pushed down in your feed in a matter of moments. I thought that getting to 10k followers on my instagram would be my ONLY goal in social media. This small-town kid couldn’t imagine it. A world where 10k people would care in the slightest on what I have to post! Exciting right?!
But here’s the dirty secret about wanting the fame, it doesn’t fulfill you and it’s never enough.
Now that I’m in sight of 10k, I’m only thinking about the next goal and obsessing over the possibility of 15k and 20k. MORE. MORE. MORE. It’s always more.
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This isn’t a blog about boycotting social media to live life to the fullest and I won’t be deleting my account anytime soon (mostly because 50% of my income comes from instagram inquiries and there are bills that have to be paid! hah). Boycotting or deleting the problem isn’t the point. If I give up social media, I’ll find something else to fixate on. We have to get to the ROOT of the problem and I know instagram-envy is just one of my symptoms.
The ROOT is that I find contentment and purpose in popularilty, as fleeting as it is.
< It reads easy, but the realization of that statement is a painful one >
So my treatment is as follows:
– Don’t open the app more than once an hour. There’s NO reason I need to see how many likes I have on a photo every five minutes.
– Put my phone and computer in another room and play with my family. Focusing on my actual surroundings brings me back into reality and the importance of the life I’m living, rather than the life I’m posting.
– Reminding myself that my identity is not in how well-liked or well-followed I am, but in The Lord.
I’m on a mission. Wish me luck!
< This sermon > was powerful and instrumental in helping me realize what I put my identity in.
Trust me, take thirty minutes and give this podcast a listen, Daniel did amazing with preaching it!
Ashlee Kay Photography | Colorado Springs photographer | Family photographer | Wedding Photographer | ashleekay.com/posts | Photographer blog | Colorado photography | photographers
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Callie - This is SO extremely true! I think it is an easy obsession for anyone, but it can really consume you in this business! It is an amazing tool, but can be a life sucker! Love that you shared it though! I don’t think many of our fans and clients understand what it means when they ‘like’ our work. It can either be a huge upper… and if we post at an off time or if facebook hides our content, it hurts our egos! Lol! Thanks for being vulnerable!
Virginia Stiles - Such an honest reflection and oh so true! Well said. 🙂
julia morgan - what a fantastic post! i know i deal with a lot of these same feelings on a frequent basis, (and i have nowhere NEAR 10k followers…i wish)!! 😉 or maybe i don’t…point is, you’re most definitely not alone in those feelings, especially in the social media obsessed work that we live in! but props to you for taking abby steps…and BEAUTIFUL images girl!!! love your work.
julia morgan - an by “abby”, i meant “baby” of course.
Ashley Pacheco - Go you woman! In the world we live in, it’s refreshing to see how you plan to battle this obsession with popularity via social media. I do enjoy every photo you post, whether it matches your feed color scheme or not (not that I’d notice either way haha). You are an artist and artists know no boundaries!
Acacia - Good stuff! It’s easy to get caught up in that. I remember greiving my first fan loss- & I tend to wanna delete even my personal posts when they don’t get enough likes in 10 minutes. But God is the true definer of our value & his likes are infinite & he’s always a fan. It’s wonderful & a difficult truth, but so freeing!
I recall a pastor who published a book saying that he kept track of sales; when they were low he was sad, angry, insecure & when they were high he was oh so ecstatic… Then he noticed how unhealthy it was to tie his emotions to such a temporary, ebb & flow kinda thing instead of the solidity of Christ. I recall that story often & now your article, for when I am struggling. Thank you!
Michelle - Love your post. It is what I struggle with on Favebook! I need to find a balance and not check it every ten minutes!!!
Linda Turnbull - Love your family, love your work and most importantly I love your message and photography which is truly a gift from God. Exited to have more family members captured by your creative eye and camera.
Oriana - Thank you so much for sharing this! I can definitely relate to how addictive checking posts can be, or even just spacing out and scrolling, scrolling… I am trying to remind myself if I actually have that time to relax, that reading a book will clear my mind more! Thanks again for the thoughtful post.
Christine Schleif - This post is SO good. This year I am focusing on 1. God 2. Family and 3. Photos that I REALLY want to take. I’ve put too much into what everyone else thinks or does. Thank you for this reinforcement in what is true!
Danna - Love this!
Larissa - This was a very good thing for me to read! Thank you for being real and sharing your heart!